Because it shouldn’t always be normal.
©Jim Jordan 2012
From a writing project I’m doing that asked me the question: What’s the fastest you’ve ever gone?
I think the fastest I’ve ever gone would have to be a recent trip I took on a 747. Mind you this isn’t just another zip on a jet, this was enhanced. I took a flight on this jet from DC to Beijing on my way back to Korea. That leg took something like 17 hours. We flew over Canada, the North Pole, Russia, and Mongolia to do it. I guess it’s shorter that way.
It wasn’t just the speed of the airplane; it was the passenger on board. I upped the ante on the speed of the experience by eating a bunch of allergy pills with epinephrine in them and reading a book about a motorcycle trip up the west coast.
A friend of mine had written a book about a year before that was rock-hard and full of aggression, so as I read it there on the plane I was taken into the experience something special. He’s a lover of driving fast and leaving caution to the wind, I was miles over the planet in the upper atmosphere with a raging head-cold inspiring the drugs that were buzzing my mind beyond reason, and there I was reading this tale of love, lust, laughter and pain. It was a perfect storm of speed.
At times I had to get up to walk around, luckily I had an aisle seat that let me do that whenever I wanted. Man, my head was a mess! Initially, I was only gonna take three of those things, but later, when they had no effect, I figured that I’d take some more because the Chinese are tough on passengers coming through with illnesses. It wasn’t too long ago that the bird flu had come through, and I remember listening to reports of teachers coming through and getting quarantined for a whole month. Not my idea of a good time. So I took a few extra pills. Figuring that if 3 was good, 6 was better. What could possibly go wrong?
So they never really did the trick. By the time we were over Mongolia, I was sweating and oozing out my face, I took three more, and rolled into Beijing on 9 tabs of Sudafed. Not a good idea. Whatever. I passed inspection and got in.
So as I was sitting there in the plane, was I ever getting agitated!? I mean, the whole deal with my heartbeat was off the schedule~ I ultimately finished the book over the river that divides the nation of China from Mongolia. Watching the steppes through the window by the door on my walks was pretty cool. But I had a bunch of time left.
There was something like an hour left on the flight, and I was buzzing so hard it was damn near criminal. It’s a good thing I have my head about being off like that. Another body might’a lost it. As it stands though, what I did was a little off, I’ll grant that, but I maintained and I made it.
What it amounted to though was that I was that I eventually landed in Seoul totally jacked out of my core, but by that time, my mind had settled. I met a gal who was expecting me for drinks and after three, I totally blacked out. The pills in my head took me out. She said later that I was totally good company, won at pool and put myself to bed without issue and well at that. The only physical trip was a literal trip that happened where I scuffed my shoe so hard on a curb that I had to ask about it when I saw it in the morning, and by rights it was unusually high when I inspected it the next morning. What a trip!
Great book. Yea, that’s the way to go. If your friend writes a book about driving too fast, get your body on the fastest machine that the planet allows, do a mad load of speed and stay in motion for the entire text. Yea, that’s a good way to go.